January 2011
55 posts
1 tag
It wouldn't be New Year's Eve
if I didn’t feel bloated from overeating all week and panicked about what to wear or do with my hair and makeup because I neglect to think about these kinds of things ahead of time. And obviously I’m dicking around on Tumblr rather than figuring this shit out while I still have a bit of time to spare. God forbid I do anything before the absolute last minute possible, making people wait...
December 2010
43 posts
2 tags
Going to a Deadmau5 show tonight.
I don’t really want to, but the ticket is free and I feel like this is the universe’s way of making up for giving me heatstroke at his show in the summer. Before begging a friend to drive me home, I spent the three or four songs I managed to make it through throwing up in the bushes or the garbage can right next to the mile-long line for the washrooms.
On the other hand, I just...
francoamerican replied to your post: I’m way late
I don’t enjoy any of Jack’s lady friends, though that may be because I can only see myself with him? I don’t know, I don’t know.
Me too, girl. Me too.
I'm way late
to the 30 Rock party, and I haven’t put much research into this, but can you all just confirm we’re on the same page in regards to Salma Hayek’s character getting the fuck out? Serious hate here, guys.
“Hey! This is the sound of musiiiic!”
– My mom, to the tune of caiticolour’s hummed rendition of “Fame”. I thought it was really funny, but she wasn’t my Cranium partner, so…
My grandma just stuffed our stockings.
Right in front of me.
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
It’s like she’s not even trying to keep up the Santa Claus charade anymore.
Merry Christmas to me. My childhood is dead.
Exhibit A.
mybiggestregretever:
My biggest regret ever is losing my lip virginity to you. You were my first boyfriend, it was our first date, and you had promised you wouldn’t kiss me yet. You knew what it meant to me and you still pressured me into having my first kiss. I felt nothing.
[Female, 16]
“Lip virginity”? Is this a thing? I mean, I’ve seen it more than just this once, so...
1 tag
my dear friend is pregnant.
After the initial joy I felt for her, I thought “She can’t get shit-faced this New Year’s Eve. Sucks for herrrr.”
Believe it or not, I think the fact that this was my second thought shows how much I’ve grown as a person this year. I’m practically maternal.
Just kidding, I’d rather die. But, like, good for her. I guess.
1 tag
“I’m going to go to pizza and jerk my junk, THEN go to sleep. I love you.”
– Drunk dials are the best.
1 tag
also, i'm thinking of making hot chocolate with...
me: Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World started following me on Twitter! I feel like I've leveled up.
Ryan: Social status +5!
me: Right? OH WOW, SOME GUY PRETENDING TO BE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM A CHILDHOOD TV SHOW I LOVED THINKS I'M FUNNY. WORLD, I HAVE ARRIVED.
Ryan: Hahaha. Been cooped up all day?
me: I've been watching back-to-back episodes of 30 Rock and Googling pictures of celebrities with baby tigers and lions for hours.
if absence makes the heart grow fonder...
Conversely, it’s totally normal to want to punch people you have to see and listen to every day in the face and maybe shove them down a flight of stairs, right?
2 tags
“I bet Winter’s all ‘I know you just bought some ugly boots to keep...”
– I don’t know why I anthropomorphise winter as this dick that’s out to destroy my life. Like, it snows, and I feel personally attacked. “What did I ever do to you, Winter? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOUUUUU?”
3 tags
Watchwarmgun:
Ryan Gosling reading his own meme. The internet is so important.
HEY GIRL. Gosling. Top five. FUR SHURRR.
imagine that.
I’m reading up on Wikileaks and the arrest of Julian Assange. I have a vague understanding of the situation, but I’d like to know more than just what I’ve gleaned from passing commentary on various social networking sites.
As you’ve probably guessed, it finally happened.
I finished all the fanfic on the internet. This is what I’ve resorted to. Current events.
Do...
2 tags
how in the fuck am i supposed to wait for this? →
Baz Luhrmann. Leonardo Dicaprio. Carey Mulligan. THE GREAT GATSBY.
I’m as close to literally “shaking and crying” as I’ll ever get when using that expression.
Thank you, Universe. I’m gonna be really nice to people tomorrow, pass on this good energy you’ve shared with me.
I can’t even handle this.
After a fifteen minute, breathless rant on Taylor Swift, my disagreement with how I perceive her public persona, and the unsuitability of her music to my tastes (which is the least offensive way to word my real feelings, it has been decided), I realize that I may have some latent anger issues.
My cynicism and frustration, which previously would be laser-focused on my work life, is now like a...
3 tags
i don't deal with seasonal changes very well.
Today, I put on my fave summer jam: Beach House’s Teen Dream. I hopped in the shower and lathered up with Lush’s “Grass” shower gel. It smells like the air in July and reminds me of lying in my backyard, soaking up the sun until beads of sweat drip down my neck and I can’t take the heat anymore.
For a little while, I made myself believe that I was getting ready for a...
most exciting thing i've read on the internet all... →